Fanfiction Theatre
by Artificial Dreams
Summary: A fanfic written by request for a panel. For some reason they didn't already have one on hand... Features Draco Malfoy, Dante, Roy Mustang, Sailor Mars, Link, and of course the Evil Overlord Pinkie Pie.


The sun rose on a dark and stormy morning, like an upside down raw egg. A lone figure gazed at the devil hunter from afar. Draco Malfoy was dressed in a black cloak, concealing most of his figure. However, nothing could conceal his feelings for Dante. Dante was dressed in his typical red coat, looking as magnificent and badass as always, but this was no time to hang around and look sexy.

Just then, a loud explosion was heard from afar. Dante and Draco rushed to the scene just in time to see a blaze of fire burst into the air. Roy Mustang, a colonel for the military was having a head to head battle with a woman in scantly clad clothing. The woman in question, Sailor Mars, was fighting Mustang's fire with fire, neither side wanting to surrender. Draco quickly intervened. This was no time to be fighting amongst themselves. There was a bigger enemy at hand. Pinkie Pie, the My Little Pony ruler of the land, was an evil and hyperactive tyrant who ruled with an iron hoof. She was well known for the enslavement of the Pokemon kind and was using them for manual labor to build a iron-clad castle of death.

This required obtaining assistance from a higher power, the Hero of Time.. Mostly because he had a horse, and it was common knowledge that horses and My Little Ponies were mortal enemies. Clothes half-burned off of their bodies, Sailor Mars and Roy stared one another down, a burning desire to finish their mortal combat but knowing that the battle would have to await a later time. A truce was made, though it certainly helped that Sailor Mars' mini-skirt met Roy's approval and Roy's similarity in appearance to Tuxedo Mask met Sailor Mars' approval. So the four set off in what would be a heart-pounding adventure, filled with love, intrigue, and lots of yaoi spin-off fan fictions (since everything inspired yaoi fan fictions).

Draco walked in stride with Dante, internally pining and yearning to just hold his hand. But no, he could not - Dante was only interested in brunet's - Draco knew this because he had witnessed Dante engaged in several romantic dinners with Harry Potter. At least his traveling companions had black hair - at least there was no further competition for Dante's affections. His heart suffered and ached and angsted greatly, so much was the pain inside him that he could bear it no longer. With a mighty cry, he broke into a wild run from the group, looking like an deer that was running away from a car wreck it caused after a wild night on the town. Startled, the other three exchanged glances that were as puzzled as a freshly opened box of jigsaw pieces. They were torn - either they could chase down their newly estranged party member, or they could continue to pursue the Hero of Time. Deciding that the power of friendship would also be what defeated Pinkie Pie and her abominable army of Pokemon that self-destructed when they were about to faint, the three took flight after the stupid blonde that let his emotions carry him away so suddenly.

By the time they caught up to him, Draco was bonding with Link over having blonde hair and an affinity for wearing garments that held a suspicious similarity to dresses and stockings. There was no horse to be seen - the group was mortified. Friendship and emotionally unstable wizards were not enough to defeat Pinkie Pie and her minions! They needed a horse! But when they asked Link about his horse, he said nothing. They asked, and demanded, and threw adult-sized hissy fits but still the Hero of Time offered no answer.. A few times he ran over to some overgrown weeds, spun in a circle while emitting a battle cry, only to return with brightly colored rupees, but these were the only sounds and offerings he gave the group.

Then, Dante had a genius idea and he expressed this with various innuendos and perhaps a too friendly handling of Link. Fire! They could burn Pinkie Pie with the blazing fires of Hell that Roy and Sailor Mars's combined love produced. All of the sudden, as though hearing their plotting and planning and sudden genius, Pinkie Pie herself appeared. She was a pink pony, with a pink mane and tail. There were balloons tattooed on her sides, the last remains of her gang days - back then she was known as "Pinkie Pie-To-Your-Face." This still remained true, for if anyone angered her too much she would have one of her Pokemon minions get a fresh pie from the oven, and she would smear hot and delicious fruit in their face - blueberries left the most scarring of injuries.

But these were all small details. Pinkie Pie was here, and the four got into classic Sailor Moon-style poses - a sidewise V in front of their face and threats of punishment towards their enemies. Pinkie Pie was unimpressed, for she had also seen her days as a Pony Scout until she got involved in gang and supreme evil ruler of the land activities. She was prepared, even though Sailor Mars and Roy were partaking in the legendary Fusion Dance. With their flaming powers combined, they could transform into the Super Sailor Crossplayer. Before their fingers could touch and complete this ancient dance, Link released a war cry as he spun into the stunned individuals to knock them out of the way of Pinkie Pie's Hyper Beam attack. Dante leaped forward, wielding Ebony and Ivory likes guns of death - because they were guns of death, and wielding them any other way defeated their purpose entirely.

Draco desired to assist his beloved, even though his love could never be returned - his whiny emoness was not worthy of Dante's fine bad-assed self. Regardless, he pulled out his wand and called forth the magical words to save his one true love - and then his heart shot from his chest and exploded like a grenade in Pinkie Pie's face. The evil was defeated by the power of love, and the only casualties of this war were Draco Malfoy's life and Link's horse, Epona. And then they all walked into the sun, and died of Lupus suddenly and painfully.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I own nothing mentioned in this.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Uploaded by popular request. I don't get it either. xD Written for a panel at AFO.


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